I Can’t Hike!

Unfinished Business

My world has filled up with possibilities!!! I can’t believe it.

Ever not know you’ve been down until you come out of that fog?

I’m out.

I can’t hike. I’m having my hip replaced on Thursday. It’s become such a good thing. In my obsession to hike like crazy until the surgery, my eyes were completely closed to all the other things I love to do!

Write. Paint. Make music. Even do videos now. All the creative stuff that has been in hibernation. I feel so free. It’s been a long time coming.

I’ve been staring at that unfinished painting for months. I love to paint. Where did it go, that love.

I love my obsessions but they kill so much else in me. It was sports and winning. Then alcohol. Now hiking. Hiking is such a good thing, but I’ve been pushing too hard. Ever gone on a diet? Remember how you ate everything in sight the day or two before it began?

Anyway. I’m free. I’m stuck in my house. Captive to all my creative influences. How cool is that?

Some time ago, years, I heard Kermit sing, “The Rainbow Connection.” I decided to figure out how to play it. It’s hard. Even has a key change. Anyway, I got it nearly finished and I couldn’t sing it. Half way through, every time I tried, I began crying. Three or four times. I had to stop and think about what was happening.

I sent a message to a musician friend of mine in South Africa. Told him what was happening. He said, “Finish. That song is really important to you. The message has hit you right in that artist’s sweet spot.”

That “Artist’s Sweet Spot.”

I realized that why it was happening, was so… not important. “Why” didn’t matter. It just made me sad. Really sad. All my sad was coming out. It was so beautiful. Maybe that’s what art is for?

I’m going to finish that painting. I’m going to re-learn “The Rainbow Connection.” I think I will cry again. I can feel it coming.

I’m free.


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