Drop The Rock

Now that’s confusing…

Ok. I’m wrong in the way I am right.

I’m right to always finish what I start. Maybe.

I’m right to never quit. Maybe.

I’m right to always lead by example. Maybe.

You get the idea, right? The problem is that using the words always and never are a bad idea. As a concept, all that stuff I just wrote is great. To live like that is not.

In 2016 I decided, not to hike, but to finish the Appalachian Trail. I got a tattoo. It’s a drawing of Mt Katahdin, with the day I began on my path to finish the AT. I left an open space for my completion date.

I played on a Championship HS football team. I played in an All-Star College football game in the Orange Bowl. I coached Volleyball to a bunch of District One Championships. Out Team got 1 point away from a State Championship. I coached HS Football until we won a Suburban 1 Championship. I Directed HS Theater until we won Best Production at the New Hope One Act Play competition. I drank alcohol compulsively until I got sober. I’m in my HS and College Hall of Fames.

Now. Truth is I never did any of that without tons of help from a whole bunch of people. Especially my Sobriety.

Let’s assume for a minute or to that there is a God. (I believe this.) I can’t really explain how I got to where I am in life without that assumption.

Now, there is a battle that we Believers struggle with; sometimes we know about the battle and sometimes it goes on without our knowledge.

God’s Will versus my will. Notice the caps. I hold on to what I’m sure is the correct path for too long sometimes. This concept in AA is sometimes called, “Not Dropping the Rock.” I heard a friend say one time that everything she lets go of has claw marks. I get it.

I am probably not going to finish hiking the Appalachian Trail. I hate that sentence. I’m most likely not finishing the Appalachian Trail. I hate that sentence even more. I’m not totally dropping this rock yet, but it’s nearly out of my hands. Literally.

I have a list of injuries and health problems that is long. A lot of it caused by my push to finish this physical goal for too long.

Like my coaching, nearly my whole life has been planned around a goal. It’s a great way to avoid other stuff, and to occupy my ADHD brain.

I’m going to Drop This Rock.

I will continue hiking for enjoyment now before I don’t want to or am unable to hike at all.

This will be really hard for me. I’ve written about this before I think. (Bad Memory) I mean it this time.

I’m not sure how this will go. It’s new for me.

It’s about time.



I am pretty sure that it’s not going to happen.

2 thoughts on “Drop The Rock

  1. What an impressive summary of accomplishments with your greatest being sobriety. I think we always have a choice on determining what our goals are. Things change, goals change. Perhaps you may still end up with accomplishing this “non” goal through your enjoyment of hiking. Perhaps your “non” goal will become a goal again. ~CQ

    Liked by 1 person

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