Ok.  This post is going to be more of a vent/rant than anything.

I buy slightly used shoes sometimes on Ebay.  I USED to have success in this area.  Not any longer.

First I should say that I am a mess when buying shoes. It’s Riddell’s fault.  They used to make the best football spikes.  When we were fitted for them we were supposed to have our toes right up at the front.  Something about the stretching of the leather, no sloppiness in the fit, and when they got wet they would form perfectly to your feet. It was all true.  I have been trying to buy shoes in that way for all my life.  A snug, perfect fit that would stretch a bit and feel really good eventually. That pretty much has NEVER HAPPENED.

I began buying slightly used shoes of all sorts, like I said, on Ebay, trying to get slightly broken in shoes that felt instantly comfortable. (I know some of you are grossed out by other people’s shoes!)  Not me. I eat food that has dropped on the ground, too.

Size 11 1/2 I have been forever until recently. I went permanently to a 12 because they felt better most of the time.  Then I started hiking.  Not like NORMAL people start hiking, but like a recovering addict  starts hiking. Always too much of everything, too fast. I load my new pack up with hammers and books and head in the woods to immediately pull my calf muscle.  Gastrocnemius. I love muscle names. Then I beging upping the miles. Meanwhile, one of my hiking friends tells me to get shoes at least a half size bigger than I usually get because my feet will swell on long hikes.  I don’t believe it.

Everytime I come down a steep hill, my toes bang against the from of my $120 Keens and I lose one toenail.  “I must just tighten up my laces so my foot doesn’t slip,” my idiot brain says to me. So I tighten them up and my feet fall asleep. AWESOME. I still don’t get shoes a little bigger.

The Riddell’s are still controlling me.

I have some old North Face hiking shoes that I wore on my latest adventure hiking the Maryland section of the AT. They are broken in and pretty soft in the front and the hills aren’t too bad anyway, so I figure North Face size 12 is the way to go. Wrong. My new North Face shoes come in the mail and my toes are nearly touching the front of the shoes. Could my feet have gotten bigger?

I am no longer a 12.  I am a 13. I may have been a 13 for months, maybe years, but I am definitely a 13.

I know.  Boring.

Now I decide to stop messing around and just go buy some good shoes.  Size 13. I go to the mall.  I walk miles back and forth to every possible shoe place and discover that every size 13 fits me!  Cool! Now I am tired.  I go home and have lunch, fuel up for the final assault. I’m down to 3 shoes; Brooks Adrenaline, Merrell Moab FST, and Asics something.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that my right foot is partially numb from an old injury so it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to judge the fit.

After trying them all and some others again, I’m down to 2.  The Brooks and the Merrell. I buy the Merrells.  They have always been good shoes for me. They are out of the color I want in a 13.  The Plymouth Meeting store has a pair. While I am waiting for the email telling me to come down and pick up my Merrells, I find a pair of Adrenalines on Ebay.  So, what the hell. I order them in ORANGE.

Notice comes and I head to Plymouth Meeting, get lost and get bailed out by my IPhone.  Thank you Apple. Pick up my shoes, come home, put them on and the crease created when I bend and lift my foot in the back cuts directly into my toes!!!!!! They are going back tomorrow.

10 hours later and I have no shoes. A not totally new pair in the mail. They are ORANGE.  They were partly just for fun.

Everytime I buy shoes I go through this. Every time. I am going to sleep on this.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, my trail name is BOOM!  I’m too tire to explain.  Another time.