Christmas morning. 1110. Here I am again. Star Wars round three. Two reasons.

1. It just gets better each time for me.

2. What do I do all day until the Eagles game!

It was 1979. I was the Boys Volleyball Coach at Quakertown HS, in PA. My team convinced me that I HAD, repeat, HAD to see this new movie. Star Wars. They said it would be different than anything I had ever seen before. Sure.

I went under duress.

The lights came down in the theater. The music and the words STAR WARS attacked me, simultaneously, on the screen. The words describing what had just happened in the Universe, and what was about to happen next, seemed to come from above me and passed away through the starry screen. I was captivated.

I’m still captivated, 39 years later.

Surfing, StarWars, and Sobriety have been the three most consistent passions in my life. This is a brand new and very true thought!

Surfing. StarWars. Sobriety. Three pretty good passions to have. I kept them all kind of hidden most of the time. I used to care about what others thought. Not so much anymore.

Tonight, I’m writing from that small section of our cabin on the left. It’s the kitchen. I hang a blanket over the door to the rest of the cabin, roll a cot and a heater in, and there I will sleep tonight. I don’t know why I never thought of this before! I used to try and heat the whole cabin with the fireplace and a heater. I was never warm!

Tonight, I am warm. It will be in the 20s overnight. No problem. I op m the stove when I get here just to give the room a quick warm up, then the heater does the trick after that.

I have a fridge, microwave, and stove. It’s a little bachelor flat!

The bathroom is outside. There’s no running water here in the winter. Pipes would freeze.

Beef! I had a rump steak for dinner. First beef of the year. I quit cow in December sometime. Nina, my niece, talked me into it. I was supposed to not eat beef for a year. Didn’t make it.

I wrote to her for permission to have a burger. I just can’t live without beef. Yet. I hope in the future I can. We’ll see. I will eat less.

The steak was amazing.

I have been taking antidepressants for almost 15 years. Me, you say? The team captain? Yes me. Not all depressives looked depressed. Not all depressives stay in bed. I am also ADHD. Yes, that’s possible.

Anyway, this is day three of me lowering my dosage from 450mg, the maximum dose, to 300. I felt different today. That’s all I can say to describe it. Different.

Not bad. Pretty much the same as always. Just different.

I take so many drugs. I hate it. I’m hoping that this one can be reduced. So far so good.

I’m not hiking. Not for about s month more, I guess. Physical problems with my foot and my hip. I’m in PT, sorting this stuff out.

I will be back on the AT soon. I miss my tent.


One thought on “Grayoutofthewoods!

  1. If you have been feeling ok, please don’t screw around with y our medicine. I don’t get why people resist something that keeps them healthy or balanced, like there’s some sort of shame or stigma attached. I take quite a few myself and feel ten times better than I would if I didn’t. You’ve gotten over your shame in many areas…don’t let this be another area that throws you for a loop. YOU are not a doctor and if you have been feeling well, DON’T screw with your meds!!!! I saw my dad go down that path too many times and in the end, it ended him


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