“All In” is back!

The most famous White Blaze in the entire world. The white blaze that guides you down the Appalachian Mountain Range in Eastern America, from Maine to Georgia.

I think I took this photo in New York. Winter in New York.

I’m showing you this because my life has shifted again. I love when this happens.

The world is becoming my playground again.

I was held up, with a gun pointed at my face, through the window of my car 4 months ago. It feels like yesterday. Through the help of a good friend and Trauma Therapist, I feel free again. I have accepted my fear and the anger is brings up. I have accepted the sadness I have deep inside because of “The Incident,” as I call it.

I’m moving on. Shifting my view of the world to a positive place again. My playground. I’m still frightened, hypervigilent, angry and sad, but I’m OK with that.

I’ve lived most of my life in an optimistic delusion, pretending to be happy and secure all the time. I’m not. I never have been.

No one I know is happy and secure all the time! Why must I be?

I’m not a teacher and coach anymore. I’m not a highly competitive athlete anymore. I’m not 40 anymore. And it’s OK.

I’m not that person anymore.

Good bye.

I’m 68 years old. I’m this person now:

Fixing up and selling a house in South Africa with my friend Gavin. Having fun, being a grown up.

Today, with the help of my friend and therapist, who will remain unnamed, I have taken a leap into the final stage of my physical life. And it’s OK.

I’m not middle aged anymore. It’s OK. My body is beginning to fail and it’s OK. I am accepting myself at 68. Why not!

I’m 40 lbs lighter than I was 8 months ago. I’m getting help for my physical changes.

My Spiritual life is soaring!

Its 0116. I’m awake on my phone writing in Vredehoek, Cape Town, South Africa! I’m happy.

Tomorrow at 0800, I have an individual Pilates class with Gen, my physio. Gen is a gem, too. I am getting such great guidance here.

Now I’m rambling. It feels so good to feel so good.

Time for some sleep. I need energy for the fun I’m going to have tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that.

All In. Yes! I’m “All In” again. Thank you HP. Thank you C. Thank you Gen. 🙏🙂

All In

5 thoughts on ““All In” is back!

  1. Happy for you Doug. Glad you’re back to being who you are, a very special ” earthly loving giving human being”. Rock on.


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