Can’t Hike

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Thank heaven. I feel like painting again. Just finished this one. Started months ago. I kept walking by it looking and not painting. I wonder if it’s Painter’s Block? Do painters get that?

I lost my desire to paint when I got Lyme disease. All I could do is eat, sleep, and read. I was always excited to begin a piece before.

This year sucks. I never say sucks but right now it’s appropriate. Sucks. I’m leaning on food to much. My universal tranquilizer. I eat. I feel better. I feel worse. I eat better for a stretch. I feel much better. I quit the food plan. I feel bad. My only release from food was Obsession. Love. Alcohol. Art. Coaching. Exercise.

I don’t know if I should write this stuff. It just comes out.

Oh, right. Painting. I will start another piece. When I paint everything is pretty ok.

Sometimes I go to sleep just because I want to get to my 0715 AA meeting. I live meeting to meeting sometimes. The in between is just white noise. I’m so lucky to be a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. When my life isn’t what I want it to be, I go to an AA meeting and the same exact life is what I want it to be. Amazing. 19 years and 9 months this has been going on. One hour and I am better. It never fails.

Magic. It’s magic. Sleep now. Bye.

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