Still Sorting

If you’ve read my “It’s Not Like TV,” you know the story. I still am not sure if I am ok.

I have this division on my life now. I live in a world divided between the OK and the NOT OK place. The not ok life is anxious. Fearful. Angry. Sad. The OK world is happy. Self-assured. Pretty serene.

I even ride the line for periods of time. That may be the best of times. There is a flow. A recovery. A healing. Independence.

I am positive on one side and Negative on the other.

For long periods in the past, I have spent time on the “OK” side. I am hoping that comes back to me. I want to let go of this dress that is following me around now. I can’t quite shake it. I feel safe here, but the memory of that incident is somehow clearers from a distance.

I hope that is a good thing.

Going back to Cape Town in January will be different from any return there, that I have had in the past.

It won’t be “what might happen.” It will be “what did happen.”

All In