I am sick of Covid. Covid at breakfast. Covid when I shop. Covid in the news. Covid on NPR. Covid on Sports radio. Covid.
Here’s the real problem. I just turned 70. I feel much younger when my head is screwed on correctly. It’s harder to be upbeat and live the life I love, when mortality is in my face ALL THE TIME!
I don’t want to die. I thought it was because I wanted to finish the Appalachian Trail. Well, it is that, but so much more.
I would miss:
Conversation with Landi. All my AA friends. The view out my back window. Climbing into bed not alone. My girls. My girls big time. All the sports I don’t even do anymore.
Realization. It’s the thought of missing this stuff. That’s the problem. When I’m gone I won’t care. I miss from here. Not from whatever is next. Next is Peace.
Take a breath Doug. Do all you can do NOW. Getting down about what I’m going to miss is senseless. Irrational. Immature.
Senseless. Irrational. Immature. That is what I need to concentrate on. Not being those things.
I must keep my energy up at all costs. Eat right. EAT RIGHT. I do more of the other healthy stuff than I need to. EAT RIGHT.
I eat like I used to drink, sometimes. A donut used to give me a lift. Never does now. It just makes me want another one.
One donut is too many and 100 is not enough!
Today, I will push mortality away by moving in the direction of the things I love. All that stuff up there that I wrote in the beginning. I will enjoy all those things. I will have more of them all.
I will be ALL-IN…there.
Mortality will take care of itself just fine.